Save yourself for only $24.95! Remembering Y2K televangelism...

Remeber the Y2K panic? When everyone secretly wondered if the world would collapse at midnight on December 31, 1999? Some people scoffed, some prepared for the impending doom by filling buckets and bathtubs with water and by hoarding twinkies, and televangelists went crazy selling end of times prophecy videos.

Jack Van Impe, A.K.A The Walking Bible, and his wife Rexella were two such televangelists. They strongly believed (or said they believed) that the world as we knew it would end on January 1, 2000 and they scurried to sell their "emergency" end of times video called '2000 Time Bomb' for $24.95. I don't know how a crummy video was supposed to save people but here's a clip of the Van Impes in action:



The Van Impes currently sell a video about the world ending in 2012 but this time they have phrased their paranoia in the form of a question, 'December 21st 2012-History's final day?' Better safe than sorry...

Homophobic Churches: Westboro Baptist Church

Image source

The Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas is a group of people who believe god hates everyone. They have gained notoriety in recent years by saying ridiculous things and regularly protesting large scale events and the funerals of U.S soldiers, hate crime victims, and AIDS victims.

Make a long story short, they're bat-shit crazy!

But they love attention and they really love talkin' trash and holding up hate signs...........(video is NSFW)



Click here for a detailed profile of the Westboro Baptist Church by the Anti-Defamation League.

Below is a video clip from Michael Moore's 'The Awful Truth' show that ran in 2000. NSFW



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What ever happened to Puerto Rican Jesus?

Back in 2007, a greasy man claiming to be the incarnation of Jesus Christ made his public debut.


Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda received media attention from around the world and even CNN stopped to interview him, finding out that modern day Jesus was an ex-heroin addict, a professional thief, and a proud wearer of a 666 tattoo. In fact, many of his followers were running to the nearest tattoo parlor to get the 666 symbol tattooed on their bodies to show their dedication to Puerto Rican Jesus...

PR Jesus was against the church and regularly protested and interrupted church services by smashing religious idols with his smile...He also had a thing for Rolex watches, Lexus cars, and hot women....He planned to rule the world....



Fast forward to 2009--we have a new president, a crappy economy, and PR Jesus has just lost a heated divorce settlement case against his second wife, who he calls a “gold-digging lesbian.” The case was riddled with tension and incoherent ramblings about 'uncircumsicion'... For more about the divorce settlement case, click here (opens in new window)


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Beefcake ministry of the 80s....

John Jacobs and his Power Team were muscle men who broke stuff in the name of Jesus...

They also blew up hot water bottles and aimed to lower the world's suicide rate.

Here's a video of the Power Team in action:



The Power Team is still around but not associated with John Jacobs. Their website is: http://www.thepowerteam.com

John Jacobs went on to found 'John Jacobs and the Next Generation Power Force.' The web address is: http://www.johnjacobsnextgenerationpowerforce.com/about_john.htm


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Benny Hinn in a nutshell....

A compilation of wacky Benny Hinn clips say it all:

Corny Clowns work for jesus...

Looking to become a scary religious clown from 1987? Look no further:



Need some colorful yet bizarre inspiration? The whining, coughing children say it all....

Large man sings inspirational song in baby voice...

What do you get when you combine multiple personality syndrome with church music?

The following strange performance:

Religious Tales from Public Access TV....

It's no secret that regular Televangelist programming is often cheesy, bizarre and downright hilarious, but religous public access TV adds an extra dimension of creepiness to the mix. This may be due to lower viewership rates combined with show hosts who are not concerned about their image and reputation like the big wheels from God TV or TBN are. Whatever the reason, some things should never be broadcast, like this christian puppet show:


Please note: May contain explicit language at times


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Behold the Tissue Goddess....

When I say I've watched a lot of late night religious TV, I mean I've watched A LOT of religious programming.... but somehow, I managed to miss this pearl:


Image from 'Scary Televangelist Hair'. Click on image to visit site.

Her name is Jan Crouch and along with her husband Paul, she owns one of the biggest religious TV networks: TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network). She has the biggest hair of anybody I've ever known and she's always squeezing the hell out of the innocent little tissues that happen to be on her god table during one of her "prayers" and you know what, I absolutely adore her!

CLICK HERE to visit the always interesting 'Scary Televangelist Hair' site and to learn more about La Senorita Jan Crouch...


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Got Baby Sins?

Let this pastor stomp on your baby sins and get rid of them once and for all so they stop eating all your food and smoking all your stogies...

Peter Prophet Prophetizes and People have Proof...

Since I couldn't sleep, I schlepped out the camcorder and surfed the religious channels for a bit..I was immediately drawn to this guy:



Within the span of 1 minute, he says the words prophet and prophetize about 13 times! At one point, I began to feel as though he was prophetizing directly into my brain through the TV but he was just trying to sell his "prophecy" CD....

Then, the minute I turn around, he's in a room and everybody's pointing at his mouth:




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A selection from the 'Musical Pastor' series...

When I look at Robert Tilton, all I see is dance moves too!



I'm happy that someone took the time to stitch together a bunch of tiny Tilton tid bits and set them to music.

Benny Hinn and his imaginary furniture...

Apparently, Benny Hinn has a middle ear problem or likes to get tipsy before a revival. Either way, it's hilarious!



I particularly like the part at around 0:35 when he turns on everyone like a hissing cat and then falls backwards onto his imaginary recliner...

Televangelist Gimmicks & Free Offers Remix

I've combed the internet for televangelist gimmick videos and I've put together a few clips for your viewing pleasure. Now, a Rastafarian might say that the methods these televangelists use to get into your wallet are pure "TacTricks" and that they should be condemned to the fire or "Fi-yaaaa!!"

This is true.

These miracle healers are pushing everything from crackers to oil to water and one pastor even has a....well, you'll see.




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