Chasing Satan Away - Those Crazy Televangelists!

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2010-04-30T14:24:00.005-04:00

A Halal credit card?

2010-04-16T17:15:00.001-04:00

The North American Credit Card industry has hit a new low...

As North Americans violently choke on high credit card interest rates and collection calls, a Canadian company called UM Financial is getting ready to launch a "Halal Approved" credit card to Canadian Muslims.

The card is considered Halal Approved because consumers are not charged any interest; therefore, it does not violate any religious usury laws.

In fact, the iFreedom Plus MasterCard won't charge a monthly fee or any transaction fees for that matter, and it will even provide flight discounts with Etihad Airways. This makes me wonder how this company intends to make any money at all, but I assume that like any good credit card company they have enough fine print to safely rip these people off while making them feel great about it :).

Allah would be proud.

World Turban Day!

2010-04-14T16:53:00.002-04:00

Hurray! Today is World Turban Day!

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A tangled celebration was held in Amritsar, India to commemorate the occasion and hundreds of men turned out to participate in an old fashioned Turban Tying competition. Competitors were judged on neatness and speed, and I was shocked to learn that tying a turban is harder than it looks!

The video below shows just how tricky it can be to tie a turban:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkXQZit1DPo&feature=fvw

I would have hung myself accidentally by now....

Ladies and Gentlemen....Gilbert Deya...

2010-04-13T23:14:00.000-04:00

I suggest you turn your speakers up...

You welcome.

Pastor Deya healed my rotten PEN-is,,..

2010-04-10T10:44:00.000-04:00

In this video a formerly suicidal strip club owner with a rotten "PEN-is" full of rashi? claims to have been healed by pastor Gilbert Deya's prayers. The man claims his penis shriveled up and died due to rotten testicles and witchcraft, and that he couldn't have sex with his wife for 2 years.

Now, many prayers later, the restored stud laughs like a creep at every turn and assures us all that he is now very potent.

I find it curious that the pastor asks, "what is striptease?".....bitch, please!

Don't inhale the demon spirits!

2010-04-08T15:20:00.001-04:00

A few years ago, a viewer wrote to Pat Robertson asking him if teaching karate was OK with God.

Pat Robertson responded with how much he admired Chuck Norris for creating martial arts programs that "took ghetto kids and made them very fine citizens" but he warned, twitching eye and all, that practicing karate could lead to the inhalation of demon spirits.

Hmmm...I knew it!

Pastor Gilbert Deya loses his cool on stage...

2010-04-08T10:23:00.002-04:00

Here Pastor Gilbert Deya gets fed up with a woman, who according to him, does not want to be healed. He then goes on to wave her cane ominously and reminds everyone that Jesus said people shouldn't take children's food and feed it to dogs, whatever that means....

I guess I would panic too if I was full of crap.

Find more videos like this on Premier Christian Community

This guy reminds me of George Adgdgdwngo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdn0YcyiqiI

Woman says she was attacked by Televangelist's "Agents"

2010-04-07T21:43:00.007-04:00

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Carolyn Tuft, a retired investigative reporter for the Saint Louis Post Dispatch has come forward with a bizarre allegation that she was attacked by three Joyce Meyer "agents" in 2007.

According to Tuft, the attack/mugging happened in the Post Dispatch parking lot where she was physically assaulted and even held at gun point by three men. She claims the goons later sped off in a car "similar to those used in the Joyce Meyers Ministries fleet." She also claims she testified against one of the alleged attackers and he was sentenced to 10 years in prison for the assault.

As a result of the attack, Tuft claims she has been left with brain and stomach problems so severe, she has been forced to retire. Tuft believes the attack was retaliation for a report she worked on in 2003 where she detailed the financial excesses of the Joyce Meyer Ministries.

I better sleep with one eye open...

Jesus appears on more stuff...

2009-11-30T17:31:00.010-05:00

While you were sitting there bloated and half asleep wondering where the year went, Jesus was busy appearing on all sorts of crazy shizz:

1. Jesus in an ultrasound:

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2. Jesus on an iron:

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3. Jesus on a door at a car dealership:

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4. Jesus in a ceiling stain at a weight loss clinic:

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5. Jesus on a car window:

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6. Jesus on a factory wall:

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The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire......

2009-11-15T09:23:00.003-05:00

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This creepy guy is accused of trying to burn his church down four times.

Izad Chavoshan of Huntington Beach, California was apparently disgruntled at the Orange County Church of Christ and allegedly set several of its trashcans on fire. He was arrested at the scene of the crime, trashcans ablaze and all. The mysterious fires began in October of 2009.

Chavoshan faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted.

Sounds like a Diagnosis Murder episode to me.

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Prosperity Gospel spreading to Africa..

2009-11-14T09:02:00.001-05:00

Here's a sickening example of the Prosperity Gospel's virulent spread through Africa:

The Prosperity Gospel from The Global Conversation on Vimeo.

Story source: The Museum of Idolatry

Alien Pope...

2009-11-13T20:13:00.005-05:00

Astronomers at the Vatican Observatory are keeping an eye out for aliens.

Surprisingly, they're not offended by the idea.

According to Father Gabriel Funes, the current director of the Vatican Observatory, belief in extraterrestrial life does not go against God since God has the ability to create a vast array of beings. Father Funes also thinks that some aliens may be "free from original sin' - a surprisingly nonsensical statement coming from a professional astronomer.

Pastor raises the dead but the dead rob his ass...

2009-11-06T10:00:00.001-05:00

Great news! Remember your beloved cat Jonesy and your dear aunt Edna? Well Pastor Randy Demain from the Kingdom Revelation Ministries can defy the laws of nature and raise them from the dead no matter how stiff they are. He did it in Africa eventhough the lady he raised robbed his ass and jumped out the window. Video opens in another window

Scientology spokesperson storms out of interview

2009-11-05T17:26:00.005-05:00

It's been a rough year for scientology.

First, the St. Petersburg Times did an unflattering 3 part report on the Church of Scientology featuring interviews with high ranking ex-members of the church. Then, prominent director Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby, Crash) decided to leave the church but not before sending a scathing open letter to church leader David Miscavige. Now, Tommy Davis, the church's most notable representative, made news when he stormed out of an interview with Martin Bashir:

Davis allegedly showed up 45 minutes before the interview was set to air in an attempt to pursuade Bashir and ABC not to air it. He was told the interview would definitely air and Bashir did not see him. Ouch!

Tranny Jesus....

2009-11-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

A play called 'Jesus, Queen of Heaven' is causing quite a stir in Scotland and around the world. Protesters have already showed up with blah signs and are calling the play a blasphemy that is not protected under freedom of speech:

The play is part of the Glasgay! Arts Festival, a festival that celebrates Glasgow's bi-sexual and transsexual culture.

Mutant pregnant women and other bogus analogies...

2009-11-04T16:42:00.004-05:00

Analogies are great but attempting to knit 10 different concepts together can get a little tricky sometimes.

Here Paula White compares bible quotes to pregnant women to shape shifters to dwindling numbers of employees to life changes to parasitic babies to god's plan to the devil's lying ways to having hope for the future to bethlehem with boas? to new beginnings to righteousness and beyond.......

Save yourself for only $24.95! Remembering Y2K televangelism...

2009-10-16T20:03:00.006-04:00

Remeber the Y2K panic? When everyone secretly wondered if the world would collapse at midnight on December 31, 1999? Some people scoffed, some prepared for the impending doom by filling buckets and bathtubs with water and by hoarding twinkies, and televangelists went crazy selling end of times prophecy videos.

Jack Van Impe, A.K.A The Walking Bible, and his wife Rexella were two such televangelists. They strongly believed (or said they believed) that the world as we knew it would end on January 1, 2000 and they scurried to sell their "emergency" end of times video called '2000 Time Bomb' for $24.95. I don't know how a crummy video was supposed to save people but here's a clip of the Van Impes in action:

The Van Impes currently sell a video about the world ending in 2012 but this time they have phrased their paranoia in the form of a question, 'December 21st 2012-History's final day?' Better safe than sorry...

Entry denied!

2009-10-16T08:16:00.001-04:00

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Last week Benny Hinn got into his private jet and flew to a miracle conference in London. Unfortunately (or fortunately) he was denied entry. Diss!

Then, like a mold spore, Hinn flew to Paris to enter London from there but was also denied. Zing!

Thousands of believers who had made the journey from all around Europe were left disappointed and confused, and to add insult to injury, some other chumpy pastor took Hinn's place at the event.

It turns out there was a change in British immigration policy and Hinn was missing some paperwork so they couldn't let him in. This change in policy is evidently aimed at preventing religious extremists from entering Britain.

Um...

I guess $200 million isn't enough for TBN...

2009-10-15T08:08:00.000-04:00

I'm always on the lookout for Jan Crouch videos, so I was beyond elated to find a relatively recent one.

Here's a video of TBN's Jan Crouch crying for cash:

So what's going on with TBN? Are they broke? Have they fallen victim to the recession like the rest of us? Is Brenda even a real person? I doubt it.

According to Ministrywatch.com, a church and ministry watchdog, TBN closed 2006 with a total revenue of $200,658,000 and $838,983,000 in assets. Since TBN has been blatantly shady with Ministry Watch from the beginning (their transparency grade is F) and they haven't provided their 2007, 2008, and 2009 numbers yet, there's no way to tell if they really are in the poor house, but since televangelists are immune to strife and recessions, I highly doubt that TBN is in financial ruin.

Therefore I wonder why old Janny is crying for cash on the tube......

Slap! Pow! Church Brawl in Minnesota..

2009-10-14T23:49:00.003-04:00

In 2007, church trustees and members of the St. James African Methodist Episcopal Church in St. Paul, Minnesota became fed up with what they believed was a crummy church administrator that was dipping into church funds. The pastor/church administrator in question was Reverend Hubert Armstrong, a surprisingly violent man who denied any wrongdoing.

The rising tension came to a head when the church trustees changed the church locks while the reverend was away at a church conference. Shortly thereafter reverend Armstrong's reaction was caught on tape:

I guess he really did have "poor people skills."

Cops Catch Cunning Christian Cancer Cure Creator...

2009-10-14T17:32:00.008-04:00

(Alliteration in the name of Jesus!)

Dr. Christine Daniel, a California doctor and pentecostal minister who in 2001 allegedly claimed that she had developed a cure for cancer has been arrested in Los Angeles on counts of wire and mail fraud.

According to investigators, Daniel sold her C-Extract cancer treatment to many desperate and often terminally ill cancer patients, most of which died after shelling out thousands of dollars for the treatment. Daniel allegedly promised a 60% cure rate and affirmed this claim on a 2002 appearance on TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network).

She was investigated in 2004 but denied practicing alternative medicine or selling an alternative cancer cure. It is believed that Daniel has made millions of dollars with her C-Extract cancer treatment. She faces up to 80 years in prison if convicted.

Happy Blasphemy Day!

2009-10-01T19:42:00.004-04:00

Well, not really. It was yesterday (September 30, 2009)

Anyway, I'm still tickled pink that an organization called 'Center for Inquiry' has founded an official Blasphemy Day complete with a Blasphemy contest and a Free Expression essay contest.

From the site:

To encourage free expression and to celebrate Blasphemy Day 2009 (September 30), CFI and its sister organization, the Council for Secular Humanism, are sponsoring a Blasphemy Contest.

Blasphemy: n. the act of denying or scoffing at God or God's alleged attributes.

To enter, all you have to do is create a phrase, poem, or statement that would be or would have been considered blasphemous. Entries may take any form (haiku anyone?), but must be 20 words or less. The top 5 winners will receive CFI t-shirts with their submission printed on the shirt. In addition to the shirt, the first place winner will also receive a mug imprinted with the winning phrase, recognition in Free Inquiry magazine, general publicity, and, naturally, eternal damnation. Entries must be received by midnight, October 1, 2009

Here's a video about it:

P.S: the Freedom of Expression essay contest runs until January 5, 2010

Boom! Remembering when Pastor T.D Jakes almost died in an explosion...

2009-09-27T00:01:00.003-04:00

In June 2009, T.D Jakes' sunroom burst into flames.

The explosion was ruled an accident and investigators thought it might have been caused by a gas pool heater or a big ass gas grill (you know T.D Jakes is grillin' up a storm) that was kept in the sunroom.

According to Christiantoday.com , Pastor Jakes was thankful to God that he wasn't in the room when the explosion happened. Interestingly, he wasn't severely pissed that God allowed the sunroom to explode in the first place.

The important thing is that he has enough money to build a bigger and better sunroom. Touché.

A collection of strange televangelist clips...

2009-09-26T12:00:00.001-04:00

Creepy laughter and psycho babble ahead:

Meth is a hell of a drug.

Jesus is on Youtube...

2009-09-26T00:21:00.006-04:00

That's right.

Jesus Christs has signed up for a Youtube account and has even posted a few videos. Sadly, he moderates all comments and is not open to discussion at all. Who knew Jesus' ego was so fragile?

Anyway, Jesus III, as he calls himself, also runs a creepy website where in a monotone voice he talks about the end of the world and charges $10 plus shipping and handling for forgiveness and wisdom CDs. According to his website, he'll soon be accepting Paypal and checks; after all, Jesus needs the money to play the slots in heaven...

Did you have a reaction? You may be one of the 144000.....or you may be asleep...

Jesus on why he waited so damn long to come forward:

CBN goes gangsta on your ass!

2009-09-01T03:33:00.011-04:00

No, these aren't stills from Ice Cube's "Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It," these are stills from a Christian Broadcasting Network program entitled "Martin Briseno: A Bank Robber Forgiven."

This five minute mini-scarface episode tells the story of Martin Briseno, a self admitted crackhead "who owed a lot of people money." Briseno was desperate for cash so he dashed into his local bank one day and robbed it. According to Briseno, the teller he was pointing his gun at kept uttering the words, "Oh my god, jesus christ" and he found that to be very unusual behavior for a bank teller who had a gun pointed at his face.

Anyway, he managed to get away but didn't realize that some busybody had seen him get into his car and had called the fuzz. The police had his house surrounded by the time he got home, so he decided to run. Well no, he decided to buy a little crack for the road and went to his drug dealer first. The dealer promptly whacked him over the head and stole the money he had just robbed from the bank. At that point Briseno felt "insignificant and like a total failure." He ran away and assumed a new identity.

Then, according to Briseno (or CBN writers) one day his brother walked into the very bank he had robbed and met the teller that Briseno had held up. The teller had a message for Briseno: I forgive you. Bleh! Total Corn...and that's when Briseno found jesus.

Unlikely, but entertaining.

Bored Arizona pastor prays Obama gets brain cancer...

2009-09-01T02:00:00.013-04:00

Baptist pastor Steven Anderson recently posted a drab video on his youtube channel that caused quite a stir. In the video, Anderson bashed gay people, blamed Obama for suggestive billboards and sexy TV shows, and basically wished death and eternal damnation on Obama.

When asked about his controversial video, Anderson said he would continue to pray for Obama to die from brain cancer like Ted Kennedy did and then went on to whine about how his family is receiving death threats....

Click Here to listen to an excerpt from Pastor Anderson's controversial youtube "gospel" video.

Jan Crouch & her hair fly to South Africa...

2009-08-11T23:30:00.002-04:00

The beautiful flower that is Jan Crouch has traveled to South Africa with her Smile of a Child organization to distribute toys among the poor children of South Africa. Her hair looks spectacular and the shoulder pads in her black lace dress are very elegant:

We love you Jan!

Universal Church of the Kingdom of God under fire...

2009-08-06T02:31:00.007-04:00

The Universal Church of the Kingdom of God, also known within the Latino community as 'La Iglesia Universal del Reino de Dios' is facing all kinds of verbal and written attacks by newspapers, bloggers, youtubers, and more, because according to them, it has become blatantly apparent that this church is full of crap....

Emotional blackmail:

With temples in 46 countries around the world, the Universal Church is famous for its late night televangelist programs on Latino TV channels, in which they repeatedly shriek the words, "Pare de Sufrir" (stop your suffering) in a sexy half Spanish, half Portuguese accent. The programs depict all kinds of misery, humiliation, and disease, and often feature the pastors themselves offering creepy gifts, such as lamb's blood and treasure chests.

Pain & suffering:

Recent hidden camera investigations across South America, show how the pastors of the church reportedly fleece their flock in crazy, obvious ways. They make them buy books that tell them how much money to donate to the church, they set donation minimums, and they tell their flock not to bring guests on big donation days because they might disagree with donating cash to the church. One investigation even showed a pastor stepping out to a corner store and purchasing "holy oil" (vegetable oil) that was to be distributed in tiny vials as a sacred healing oil. Filming within any of their temples is prohibited, the pastors never grant any interviews, and the whole thing is one big shady mess....

For an interesting Mexican undercover investigation about the Universal Church, click here (please note: this video is in Spanish)

Pope Benedict XVI plans to record snazzy album....

2009-08-02T17:06:00.011-04:00

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Pope Benedict XVI will be begin recording an album of songs and prayers dedicated to the virgin Mary. The album will be called 'Alma Mater' and is set to be released on November 30, 2009 by Geffen Records, the same music label that currently works with Snoop Dog and Ashlee Simpson.

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According to Colin Barlow, president of Geffen Records, "The Pope has got almost a lullaby tone to the way he sings."

Guru and Hindu temple under fire...

2009-07-30T00:39:00.018-04:00

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Self proclaimed guru and founder of the Hindu Temple of Georgia, Dr. Commander Selvam, recently caught the eye of Gwinnett County District Attorney, Danny Porter, when he was arrested last October on allegations of practicing medicine without a license and fraudulently overcharging his follower's credit cards when they paid for services.

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According to a few disenchanted followers, the Dr. (not really a doctor) grossly overcharged their credit cards when they paid for services and then filed lawsuits against them and their families when they disputed the charges. He also allegedly dispensed medical advice and attempted to heal them through rituals. Fortunately for him and all other "religious healers" in Georgia, state law regarding practicing medicine without a license does not apply to faith healers (wth?). All charges against Selvam, whose real name is Annamalai Annamalai, were eventually dropped due to insufficient evidence.

Selvam thinks people are just jealous because "[He's] so rich, famous, and happy,” and he is confident that his congregation of 5000 will continue to go strong. He has no plans to relocate his temple because he feels that he has done nothing wrong and that god is supporting him.

One reason for the temple's ongoing success may be the doctor's ability to do everything, yes everything! Below are screenshots of websites owned and operated by the doctor that range from black magic solutions to nutrition plans:

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7 year old boy takes off in dad's car to avoid going to church...

2009-07-29T17:28:00.004-04:00

A 7 year old boy in Utah led police on a crazy car chase after someone reported "a child driving recklessly."

After several minutes of 45 mile per hour driving and stop sign running, the tiny driver pulled into a driveway, ran into the house, and was glad to have escaped the soul crushing torture chamber known as church. No citations were issued because the reckless driver is basically a 50 pound fetus.

Original story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32206463/ns/us_news-weird_news/?gt1=43001

Jesus in a cabinet door again!

2009-07-22T17:14:00.006-04:00

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Erica Conner from Wichita Falls, Texas believes Jesus is living in her kitchen cabinet door.

After sitting through an inspirational presentation related to the book "90 Minutes in Heaven," Conner came home and immediately noticed Jesus in her cabinet door. Things took a dramatic turn later on that day when she noticed that cabinet Jesus was shedding a tear. "It makes sense that he's crying. We live in a broken world," said Conner. Read More

This is not the first time Jesus has appeared on a cabinet door. In August 2007, a Connecticut couple noticed a foggy image of christ (or chewbacca) on one of their kitchen cabinets:

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and in July 2008, a woman in Tennessee snapped a photo in her kitchen after her brother's funeral and was shocked to see Jesus himself (or a creepy blob) in her kitchen cabinet:

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Why can't Jesus just get a job and stop sitting around on kitchen cabinets?

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Joyce Meyer's bodyguard may have killed his family

2009-07-22T11:54:00.009-04:00

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Chris Coleman is the long time bodyguard of televangelist Joyce Meyer (pictured above).

Chris Coleman with his wife and kids
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He is also accused of murdering his wife and two children in their Columbia, Illinois home in May 2009. Sheri Coleman, 31, and her children Gavin, 9, and Garett, 11, were strangled to death in their beds and allegedly found by Chris Coleman when he returned from the gym on the morning of May 5, 2009.

A large scale investigation has been open since May and the evidence uncovered so far points to Coleman as the killer.

The family of Coleman's slain wife Sheri have even filed a wrongful death lawsuit against him and have vowed to prevent Coleman from profiting in any way.

Joyce Meyer Ministries has been sympathetic to Coleman throughout this ordeal, releasing a heart felt statement regarding the triple homicide. Read the statement here. The ministry has also been fighting hard not to release 400 pages of records they have on Coleman as a former employee, but they were recently ordered to release the documents for the pending wrongful death suit against Coleman. These documents will reveal employee interviews, travel itineraries, complaints and disciplinary action, possible life insurance policies, and more.

The case has been brought back into the spotlight with the allegation that Coleman texted his mistress during his murdered family's funeral. Coleman allegedly shared a secret cell phone account and credit card with his mistress Tara Lintz and intended to marry her in 2010. Oy ve, we'll have to see what other seedy details emerge during the wrongful death suit and pending murder trial.

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Pat Robertson thinks a recently passed hate crime bill would protect people who have sex with ducks...

2009-07-16T20:53:00.007-04:00

P' Rob is at it again with his crazy ideas! In this video, televangelist Pat Robertson expresses his concerns that a recently passed hate crime bill will protect duck fondlers and pedophiles. What a perverse thought! a thought that can only originate from a televangelist...

Please note: the "newscast" in the video is a CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) broadcast and presents a biased view of the bill in question.

Source: Media Matters posted on April 30, 2009

All ducks living around P' Rob's estate should watch their backs! Below is a parody video of P' Rob's concerns:

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Can't a guy masturbate in a park in peace? - Remembering T.D Jakes' son's public indecency fiasco...

2009-07-16T17:29:00.006-04:00

On a sexy night in January 2009, Pastor T.D Jakes' 29 year old stepson Jermaine Jakes, was arrested for exposing himself to 2 undercover officers in a Dallas, TX Park.

The officers alleged that they saw Jermaine Jakes walk into a wooded area with a posse of gay men and upon following him they discovered the man fondling himself....According to the detectives, Mr. Jakes walked up to them and continued yanking his doodle as he looked them in the eye...

Ironically, his famous step father has publicly condemned homosexuality in the past, telling the Dallas Voice that "he would never hire a sexually active gay person to his ministry." It seems that pastor T.D. Jakes has loosened his position on homosexuality since this incident with his son.

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Homophobic Churches: Westboro Baptist Church

2009-07-09T17:01:00.012-04:00

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The Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas is a group of people who believe god hates everyone. They have gained notoriety in recent years by saying ridiculous things and regularly protesting large scale events and the funerals of U.S soldiers, hate crime victims, and AIDS victims.

Make a long story short, they're bat-shit crazy!

But they love attention and they really love talkin' trash and holding up hate signs...........(video is NSFW)

Click here for a detailed profile of the Westboro Baptist Church by the Anti-Defamation League.

Below is a video clip from Michael Moore's 'The Awful Truth' show that ran in 2000. NSFW

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The Church of Scientology in hot water!

2009-07-08T07:00:00.004-04:00

First, it was Tom Cruise acting all intense and nutty in those creepy Scientology videos:

Then came the BBC documentary exposing Scientology:

and now, the St. Petersburg Times has done a 3 part in-depth report/unveling of the Church of Scientology complete with testimony from disenchanted and very perturbed ex-members. The report is rife with scandalous allegations of bizarre rituals and behaviors carried out by the church's leader, David Miscavige. Read the full report here (opens in a new window)

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Creflo Dollar being sued for fraud!

2009-07-07T19:00:00.003-04:00

Creflo Dollar and his son Jeremy are being sued on charges of fraud and a whole bunch of other charges related to an SMS texting deal gone sour....

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The Dollars allegedly struck the deal with a man named Devone Lawson, who claims the Dollars stole the idea of having people subscribe to (and pay for) daily inspirational texts. Mr. Lawson believes the Dollars have made millions off of the idea and is severely pissed that they haven't shared any of the profits....more on this story

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Female pastor's porn secret past?

2009-07-07T17:00:00.002-04:00

Pastor Melissa Scott, widow of televangelist mogul Gene Scott, is a pastor at the University Cathedral in Downtown Los Angeles.

She is also an alleged ex-porn star that went by the name of 'Barbie Bridges' and starred in several porn movies for her ex-husband Paul Pastore's adult entertainment company, Barbie Bridges Enterprises.

Of course, Pastor Scott has denied all porn related allegations and in an interview with Marie Claire magazine, she maintained her position. Others in the adult industry however, couldn't seem to keep their mouths shut. Playboy Playmate Elke Jeinsen said "Melissa was there, always dancing for Doc [gene scott] topless, showing her tits right away."

This whole mess began when Pastor Melissa Scott's husband Gene died from complications of prostate cancer and she took over the pulpit at University Cathedral. According to the Marie Claire article, shortly after the pastor's first sermon, an anonymous person sent X-Rated Easter cards to the congregation that showed a nude woman who looked a lot like Pastor Scott. "One image showed the woman with her legs spread wide, Virgin Mary and baby Jesus postage stamps covering her privates. Another featured a "See you Sunday!" banner plastered across her bare chest; underneath, it read: "The Church Where You Can Do Anything ... Anything." read the complete article.

It was enough to ignite an online storm of speculation so bad that numerous attack sites sprouted up and the pastor's Wikipedia page had to be removed due to constant vandalism.

Despite everything, there is currently very little online information about Barbie Bridges or the supposed 'Miss Nude CanAm Exotic' pageant she allegedly won, and the accusation that Pastor Melissa Scott is Barbie Bridges is unsupported and probably untrue. It still makes for a juicy story though.....

For more information about this scandal, click here (opens in a new window)

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Televangelists are immune to the recession...

2009-07-07T13:17:00.001-04:00

Residents, employees, and disenchanted donation givers are baffled and annoyed over Televangelist David Cerullo's plans to build an opulent $4 million mansion in South Carolina.

The religious programming mogul has allegedly cut jobs, frozen employee wages, and even lowered the thermostat in his buildings last winter to save money! All the penny pinching has finally paid off it seems...more on this story

David Cerullo is the CEO of Inspiration Networks, a religious cable channel launched in 1990.

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What ever happened to Puerto Rican Jesus?

2009-07-07T00:11:00.006-04:00

Back in 2007, a greasy man claiming to be the incarnation of Jesus Christ made his public debut.

Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda received media attention from around the world and even CNN stopped to interview him, finding out that modern day Jesus was an ex-heroin addict, a professional thief, and a proud wearer of a 666 tattoo. In fact, many of his followers were running to the nearest tattoo parlor to get the 666 symbol tattooed on their bodies to show their dedication to Puerto Rican Jesus...

PR Jesus was against the church and regularly protested and interrupted church services by smashing religious idols with his smile...He also had a thing for Rolex watches, Lexus cars, and hot women....He planned to rule the world....

Fast forward to 2009--we have a new president, a crappy economy, and PR Jesus has just lost a heated divorce settlement case against his second wife, who he calls a “gold-digging lesbian.” The case was riddled with tension and incoherent ramblings about 'uncircumsicion'... For more about the divorce settlement case, click here (opens in new window)

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Beefcake ministry of the 80s....

2009-07-06T20:42:00.003-04:00

John Jacobs and his Power Team were muscle men who broke stuff in the name of Jesus...

They also blew up hot water bottles and aimed to lower the world's suicide rate.

Here's a video of the Power Team in action:

The Power Team is still around but not associated with John Jacobs. Their website is: http://www.thepowerteam.com

John Jacobs went on to found 'John Jacobs and the Next Generation Power Force.' The web address is: http://www.johnjacobsnextgenerationpowerforce.com/about_john.htm

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Thomas Manton IV - african porn scandal

2009-07-06T19:36:00.006-04:00

Televangelist Thomas Manton the fourth, was arrested by Kenyan Police last month for allegedly "trafficking pornographic material and being in Kenya illegally." more on this story

The good rev claims to have predicted 911 in 1997 and his online bio states: "In his revivals and conferences, multitudes have witnessed the Holy Spirit making the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear, the dumb speak - and healing incurable diseases and performing many other creative miracles."

Most baffling is why he felt the need to traffic porn across the world.. maybe his internet connection is clogged by God...

Below is a clip of the good rev prophetically shrieking out the phrase "what do you want to be known for...when it's ALL ovah?!!"

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Top 5 "Jesus is in my food" events:

2009-06-20T00:01:00.004-04:00

5. Jesus in a Kit Kat Bar:

Read more about Kit Kat Jesus

4. Jesus Toast:

Read more about Jesus Toast

3. Fish Stick Jesus:

Read more about Fish Stick Jesus

2. Tortilla Jesus (This one had a shrine and everything):

Read more about Tortilla Jesus

1. Cheesus:

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A moment of clarity brought to you by OSHO--NSFW

2009-06-19T19:39:00.009-04:00

What is the most magical word in the English language? No, it's not God-- according to OSHO, it's the word FUCK!

Excerpt: "John F****d Mary," "Mary is F*****g beautiful," "How the F**k are you?" and more gratuitous F**k word usage.

OSHO is was an indian mystic and spiritual teacher according to wikipedia.

Creflo Dollar defends his wealth

2009-06-19T18:58:00.012-04:00

Creflo Dollar sits down to talk about his vast fortune in a 2008 interview.

Some stills from the video showing Creflo Dollar's multi-million dollar Atlanta mansion and multiple vehicles:

Peter Popoff - a brief history...

2009-05-12T17:44:00.006-04:00

This video provides a brief history of Peter Popoff's 20+ year career as a Televangelist:

Flat Hymns are a real drag.........

2009-04-17T00:20:00.003-04:00

Benny Hinn in a nutshell....

2009-03-20T13:21:00.004-04:00

A compilation of wacky Benny Hinn clips say it all:

Kenneth Copeland channeling James Brown...

2009-03-20T11:31:00.008-04:00

Yet another emotional outburst caught on tape!

In this video, Kenneth Copeland describes the time he saw god get sucked up by a vacuum:

"There ain't no more cord between us now......He went inside there to live!"

Corny Clowns work for jesus...

2009-03-19T12:02:00.006-04:00

Looking to become a scary religious clown from 1987? Look no further:

Need some colorful yet bizarre inspiration? The whining, coughing children say it all....

No Mo' Biscuits....

2009-03-10T21:53:00.003-04:00

These people eat way too much in the morning....

Large man sings inspirational song in baby voice...

2009-02-13T18:43:00.006-05:00

What do you get when you combine multiple personality syndrome with church music?

The following strange performance:

Religious Tales from Public Access TV....

2009-01-30T14:45:00.005-05:00

It's no secret that regular Televangelist programming is often cheesy, bizarre and downright hilarious, but religous public access TV adds an extra dimension of creepiness to the mix. This may be due to lower viewership rates combined with show hosts who are not concerned about their image and reputation like the big wheels from God TV or TBN are. Whatever the reason, some things should never be broadcast, like this christian puppet show:

Please note: May contain explicit language at times

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Ted Haggard then and now...

2009-01-30T02:20:00.005-05:00

A few days ago, Oprah interviewed disgraced televangelist Ted Haggard about his meth infused, gay sex scandal and I couldn't help thinking about the things he said in the Jesus Camp Documentary condemning homosexuality.

Here's a short clip:

It tickles me to think that the whole time, he was buying meth from his male prostitute lover and getting it on in seedy motels...

Here's part of the Oprah interview:

This is why you should pay your hoes well!

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Joyce Meyer's $23,000 toilet....

2009-01-30T01:46:00.006-05:00

This just in....well not really, it happened 2 years ago....but no that's not a typo; famous televangelist Joyce Meyer did in fact pay $23,000 for a marble toilet in November, 2007.

While LA senorita Meyer's taste in toilets shouldn't have been anybody's business, this tacky display of excess overflowed the bowl of common sense and actually precipitated an investigation into her finances by a U.S Senator...It also caused a storm of speculation among the common folk like myself, who simply could not come up with a valid justification no matter how hard we tried.

Luckily, one group of people had an answer:

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Behold the Tissue Goddess....

2009-01-26T21:10:00.006-05:00

When I say I've watched a lot of late night religious TV, I mean I've watched A LOT of religious programming.... but somehow, I managed to miss this pearl:

Image from 'Scary Televangelist Hair'. Click on image to visit site.

Her name is Jan Crouch and along with her husband Paul, she owns one of the biggest religious TV networks: TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network). She has the biggest hair of anybody I've ever known and she's always squeezing the hell out of the innocent little tissues that happen to be on her god table during one of her "prayers" and you know what, I absolutely adore her!

CLICK HERE to visit the always interesting 'Scary Televangelist Hair' site and to learn more about La Senorita Jan Crouch...

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Another selection from the Musical Pastor series: Robert Tilton

2009-01-23T13:08:00.006-05:00

A compilation of Tilton clips set to snazzy new age music...

Speaking in tongues, inability to count, etc....

Towards the end, he has a Germaine Jackson look alike dancing in front of him..

Sabotage...

2009-01-23T06:50:00.004-05:00

Google Ads is messin' me up...

Physics, basic commands and air tickling...

2009-01-23T06:21:00.005-05:00

In these clips, Robert Tilton dispenses important information about how to have "Success N Life"

Why it had to be an 'N' and not a simple 'in' since it's only 1 extra letter, I'm sure I don't know...

Testing Physics:

Basic Commands:

Air Tickling:

Go forth & Prosper!

Got Baby Sins?

2009-01-23T06:10:00.004-05:00

Let this pastor stomp on your baby sins and get rid of them once and for all so they stop eating all your food and smoking all your stogies...

Peter Prophet Prophetizes and People have Proof...

2009-01-23T05:56:00.004-05:00

Since I couldn't sleep, I schlepped out the camcorder and surfed the religious channels for a bit..I was immediately drawn to this guy:

Within the span of 1 minute, he says the words prophet and prophetize about 13 times! At one point, I began to feel as though he was prophetizing directly into my brain through the TV but he was just trying to sell his "prophecy" CD....

Then, the minute I turn around, he's in a room and everybody's pointing at his mouth:

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A selection from the 'Musical Pastor' series...

2009-01-20T16:09:00.005-05:00

When I look at Robert Tilton, all I see is dance moves too!

I'm happy that someone took the time to stitch together a bunch of tiny Tilton tid bits and set them to music.

Benny Hinn and his imaginary furniture...

2009-01-19T00:09:00.003-05:00

Apparently, Benny Hinn has a middle ear problem or likes to get tipsy before a revival. Either way, it's hilarious!

I particularly like the part at around 0:35 when he turns on everyone like a hissing cat and then falls backwards onto his imaginary recliner...

Televangelist Gimmicks & Free Offers Remix

2009-01-17T17:21:00.006-05:00

I've combed the internet for televangelist gimmick videos and I've put together a few clips for your viewing pleasure. Now, a Rastafarian might say that the methods these televangelists use to get into your wallet are pure "TacTricks" and that they should be condemned to the fire or "Fi-yaaaa!!"

This is true.

These miracle healers are pushing everything from crackers to oil to water and one pastor even has a....well, you'll see.

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Preacher gets right to the point...

2009-01-16T21:44:00.003-05:00

Hey is your business failing? Are you tired of your crumby little apartment?

Then sow a $1000 seed for a triple favor from God!

Oh and something about a chili pepper seed at the end...

At times, he actually seems uncomfortable asking for the seed; notice that every time he mentions going to the phone and sewing a seed, he kind of shrugs. This post should be called "inner turmoil in a polished black suit"...

Becoming Un-Gay is easy...

2009-01-16T17:46:00.013-05:00

As I curiously opened an email with "Increase your lovestick" in the subject line, eyes up towards the ceiling, I wondered what kind of spam Televangelist Pat Robertson gets every day. I then wondered if I would be able to dig up some snazzy Pat Robertson clips. After 2 seconds of fast finger work, I came across a "Becoming an ex-gay" type of video created by the 700 Club.

Within the first 30 seconds Pat breaks it down: there was a militant lesbian who found jesus and stunned the gay community when she became Un-gay. She then resumed her post as magazine editor of a magazine named after a friend who had been allegedly murdered by her gay lover.

In the video, Charlene Cothran (a.k.a the militant lesbian) says that one day during a gay pride event, a sense of shame came over her; I tend to think it was caused by the hideous red and black flannel shirts she was wearing at the time. If I left the house wearing that, I would definitely be ashamed, unless of of course, I was off to chop down a tree in the mountains...but getting back to the video, Ms. Cothran, who is now living a life of celibacy, is dedicated to pulling people out of what she calls "the gay life" and insists that being Un-gay is better than any good music in a club or any gay pride parade.

Pat Robertson, who apparently views homosexuals as a group of people who have thrown their hands up and continue to sin just for the hell of it, believes that god loves all gays even though they will always have a gray ziggy cloud of confusion and turmoil hanging over them.

Most dissapointing is the lack of trannies prancing around dressed like ballerinas in the stock footage.

For a GLBT perspective on this story, visit: http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2007/06/charlene_from_g.html

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The More You Know: The Christian Network

2009-01-16T16:55:00.004-05:00

I was kinda bored today and thought I could use a quick pick me up, so I headed over to MinistryWatch.com, a site that aims to protect unsuspecting consumers from donating to seedy televangelists. I did a search on The Christian Network a.k.a Worship Network a.k.a Praise TV Network and a quick glance of their financial statements show they've done quite well over the past few years. Touché Christian Network!

Those "Hymns of Hope" CDs must have been flying off the rack because from 2000 to 2004, the Christian Network had a revenue of $22,215,458! That's between $4 million and $5 million every year! except for 2001 which was a bad year all around. Even though the 2005 to 2008 financial statements aren't on Ministry Watch just yet, I can imagine that the Christian Network continues to do exceedingly well despite the economic crisis that has the rest of the world contemplating pawning their gold teeth for cash.

I think it's time that Televangelism be offered as a major in college...

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Elvis is alive and well, and on the 2009 Praise-A-Thon!!!

2009-01-16T04:33:00.004-05:00

Well, this guy looks more like a cross between Elvis Presley and Nathan Lane but he is chock full of charisma.

I actually grew fond of this fox and I'm honestly tempted to send him a $1000 seed. Thank god I'm dead ass broke and can't be seduced by his beautiful hair.......

Will this clip be used as evidence some day?

2009-01-16T04:25:00.004-05:00

If I were this guy's mother in law, I would be worried about getting rubbed out...He seems a little too soft spoken and maniacal if you ask me:

Televangelist explains hurricanes and airplane turbulence

2009-01-16T02:25:00.003-05:00

If you've ever wanted to know about hurricanes and how they affect airplanes, then you're in luck!

Although his perfect afro kinda drowns out his words, this young man has given a detailed explanation of hot and cold air and high turbulence that can shake a plane and how it all relates to you sowing a $777 seed to the church.

Benny Hinn, a big cross & a psychotic guest...

2009-01-16T02:19:00.003-05:00

Benny Hinn fondling a big ass cross while listening to some crazy guy that alternates between psychosis and melancholy throughout the clip...

Just in case you were wondering: The guy starts out by saying that while on vacation in Amsterdam (smoking a dubee) he happened upon a big burly man who was trying to commit suicide by banging his head against the wall?.....Couldn't get my camera set up in time....damn!

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Miracle olive oil soap...

2009-01-15T20:28:00.004-05:00

Paul Lewis recommends bathing with his miracle olive oil soap and if you have a serious disease like cancer or aids or if one of your legs is longer than the other one, the soap works just as well to cure you...and if you're in jail, this soap will break you out too! Fast forward to about 6:20 to see him make some lady's legs grow.

Rub a dub dub...he'll "rush it in the mail" with "no uh..strings attached"

Let's ride the trolley to the land of NOT make believe...

2009-01-15T19:31:00.007-05:00

While doing my usual browsing, I found a bunch of complaints against Peter Popoff and his ministries on the Rip Off Report site.

One report that caught my eye was made by an alleged ex employee of Kelly Media Group, an advertising agency that worked for Popoff.

According to the informant, who worked closely on the Peter Popoff account, she witnessed first hand the team of little evil elves that sort through Popoff's mail and pluck the checks out, while sending the prayer request letters to another department to be entered into a database. The purpose of the database, says the informant, is to produce relevant prayer letters that appear handwritten by Popoff himself; this makes sense to me since there's probably nothing more inspiring than a hand written letter from God's agent himself! and I'm sure many folks are inspired to send in more cash and prayer requests. But I digress, so where was I? Oh yea, so the informant also states that Popoff doesn't pray for anyone who sends letters and prayer requests because he in fact, never even sees the letters! The complaint goes on to mention that Popoff is basically a fraud (what a suprise! not) in the same way a mechanic would be if he claimed to fix your car when he hadn't even looked at it.

One interesting item is a rebuttal made by an employee insider by the name of Nickolas who defends Popoff and attacks the informant. Another commenter has speculated that this employee insider may in fact be Popoff's son, Nickolas Popoff, due to the unique spelling of the name used to sign the rebuttal post. Interesting...

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Let's start off with a scream!

2009-01-15T17:03:00.006-05:00

In this miraculous video, Pastor Kerney Thomas cures a young lady of her HIV+ status.

I wonder why doctors haven't been able to cure HIV and AIDS when this guy has been doing so for years!

Why this Blog?

2009-01-15T16:10:00.000-05:00

Several months ago, I was forced to change my cable service provider because I moved to another state and I was not about to be without cable here in this "Hills Have Eyes" town.

After many hours spent exploring the new channels, I came across at least 10 religious channels that have 24/7 religious programming and I thought, "Wow, this is ridiculous!" but as I watched, I found an incredible source of entertainment.

Between the perverse children's shows, the reformed gays and the stiff hair of every televangelist, all of these shows are actually quite hilarious and a pleasure to watch.

So I've floated down from the heavens like a little cherubim to share this crap with you.

A note to environmentalists: try hard not to "sow" any "seeds" because it can get quite tempting as many of these televangelist shows claim that your donation goes towards planting trees in far off places. I doubt that even 1 tomato plant seed has been cast so far....it's a sham, I say!